Truth Lies
by Gunz Ablaze
Summary: Human nature always tries to shape others into something they're not. But I'm not anyone else, I'm me.
1. Life's Mission

**Thank you one and all, for stumbling upon Truth Lies. If you are familiar with my fiction: A Song of Madness, then you should know what to expect, if you are not at all familiar with my work then here is the gist; this is a fiction of one-shots based solely on the events occurred to Gaignun, aka Nigredo. Some of these events are elaborated in the games while some of them are fan-made. **

**This story is my take on how things might have been, happened, and was. I have no beta and spell check the story on my own but occasionally I miss a few things, if you are to see any mistakes whilst reading or find sentences that may be awkwardly worded, please let me know in a kind review.**

**I do not own Xenosaga or its characters.**

**See bottom note for details.**

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Unit Number 669, Nigredo; named after his jet black hair and bright green eyes. He was the newest and most recently made clone from Doctor Dmitri Yuriev, the man behind the URTV Institute and URTV project. A group of super soldier children made for combatting the U-DO threat. This title existed on the palm of his hand, bright and angry red branded into his skin.

"Units number 666, and 667," He looked up at their supposed 'father,' who gestured ahead. He glanced forward, into the garden, and locked eyes on two boys; one with red hair and the other with white. He raised a brow at them before glancing back to the taller man. "They are your responsibility, yours to destroy if need be." He furrowed his brows at the suggested order. "If Red Dragon is to get out of control you are to eliminate it." With that he was gestured to go forward, to go outside and watch over the assigned two.

With a nod his head, he did as told without question; his task and objective; clear. The automated doors slid apart as he approached and crossed through them into the garden, lifting a hand over his eyes as the sun momentarily blinded him with its glare. After they adjusted he locked his sights back on his two charges, the ones he would have to call 'brothers.'

A whisper bit at him in his head, a statement his own self-conscious makes for him to ponder over. 'They are for you to destroy. When the time comes; you are to be his scape-goat.' They sting him like a hot iron, scaring his mind to forever more remain as a tumor; one he would never be rid of.

'It's my mission,' Was his thoughts but truly, it felt more as though he was trying to convince himself. He took steady steps towards the two, clenching his hands to fists at his sides and willing himself to take deep breaths. For some reason, he was nervous. He expected to be shunned, to be judged by them, if they did not accept them then how was he to fulfill his mission?

Then he stopped walking, 'You're worried they won't accept you? What does that matter?' He agreed with his conscious and pressed himself to the nearest wall, pondering. Where had the need for their acceptance come from? He glanced back over to them; they had yet to notice his presence and were continuing with their task.

He tilted his head, watching in confusion at what they were doing; red chasing white and touching him with no real place in mind, he would run to white and white would flee before red could grab him but when he did the role seemed to reverse. He could feel his mind reeling with fascination at the simple actions and felt his chest stir with a kind of jumping.

His legs twitched, anxious and he didn't understand. He stayed in place, trying to name the emotion running through him. His thoughts quickly became warped as ovals of purple gleamed as they landed on his bright jade greens. He swallowed knot that had quickly formed in his throat and took a step back when the white haired boy grabbed the redheads hand and pointed at him; location compromised.

The Red Dragon locked gazes with him, burning him with his bright sapphire blues and the black dog ran, tags jingling on his neck and he fled to the last known location of his master, whining when he found the door locked. He turned back to his 'family' and felt his bottom lip quiver as they both had followed him and now were stalking over, slowly as if to tease him.

'They're the enemy; they're going to kill you!' His mind screamed and he tried kicking it to shut up, if his mind was open then they would learn of his mission, they would endanger the whole thing. He needed to keep calm; he needed to keep his thoughts closed. He puffed out his chest and stared straight at them, ready for anything they would do; hurt him, beat him, kill him, he was ready.

"You're Nigredo." Red was first to speak, coming straight up to him with a smile, he wouldn't be fooled though, that smile had to be fake. He gave an affirmative nod of his name and glanced towards White; the younger boy was watching him doubtingly; eyes peeked out from behind the redhead's shoulders, hiding behind him and tense.

"Well, come on then!" His eyes snapped back to blue's in confusion, blinking owlishly at the redhead.

"W-What?" He stammered before visible jumping when one of his hands was grabbed by warmer ones. The redhead was smiling, beaming at him in excitement. White peeked out from behind him and gave a small timid smile of his own, suddenly accepting of the black haired boy.

"We don't have much more time before training, so if we wanna play we've gotta play now." He was pulled away by the older boy and almost stumbled. "Come on, you can play tag with us." He raised a brow; tag? What was tag? He felt his other hand being grabbed and whipped is head over to the other sibling.

"Let's try to finish the game before we have to go in." The violet eyed brother smiled, it was soft and warm, it made the jumping feeling return to his chest but this time it was worse, it was faster and it tickled. "Please, Nigredo?" As the white haired sibling whined, Nigredo's lips pulled up into a small smile before he nodded his head.

"O-Okay," He let himself be led away from the door and away from the man that stood behind the sliding glass. He let himself be led away from his annoyingly soldier of a self-conscious, he let himself be tagged by his enemies, he let himself laugh with his brothers. He let himself forget about the mission to enjoy his 'family.'

He let himself forget; how were they the enemy again?

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**For people who are just now stumbling across this story there will be a short or medium length synopsis of the chapter always at the bottom to give explanation to the shot.**

**Chapter will continuously redone for detail and for the goal that I want my readers to be able to visualize the event happening. This chapter now is a thousand words longer than what it previously was, and most is just words of detail. **

**In this chapter I assumed that when a Variant URTV is born they react just the same as the regular models before events lead them to gain their own characteristics and personality. For Nigredo, he was simply born with the mission in mind before Rubedo and Albedo and their actions with him changed and molded him to the boy who appeared in the game and then later the man he turned out to be.**


	2. Swing Life Away

Gunz: Half of this is based off a poem I was writing out of boredom.

Please review, I'm working on more as you read.

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Too many it is an ending, to few they find it a beginning. When hearing your beckon call at their window unprepared, they flea their inescapable end.

Seeing Death, your bone fingers at the wood glass paneling of the sill, either viewer of your poison would be terrified.

Can you blame them? The fear of leaving unfinished and journeying an endless walk to the plain of eternal. Such a fear can have the most pure souls you see into a last minute sinful.

"I have seen Death, and it was an adventure." Those words never spoken to anyone that false tongue does not look up for his judgment.

When not our own life, another as we gather in your reflecting colors, we sing the rightful prayer while showing our sorrow. You watch, with the parted soul leaned against his marked slab, chained by his name he his forced his last sight to be tears.

The sooner Death lifts his sickle the sooner you can cut his earthbound ties. And why must we cry over the hole in which love lies? Do our tears not more taint the ground then cleans in his honor?

Tears of such sorrow, why cry? Why not smile at the grave, where you lay leaning against their salvation. A job you were created for, you non-shallontly do your task with dignified boredom.

The soul you've released, begging you to leave, the tears of his family he wishes to see no more. You deny him and he complies broken, you being his only escape and guide, he has no choice.

In the end, this is his last glance at the living. To agree to take that away or take him away would define Grim.

As cruel as it may seem, let souls last sight be smiles and laughter rather than tears of sadness.

Let Death lead a marry man or woman rather then cradle them away.

White shall be watching you Black, Death, Famine. Waiting for you to slip.

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Gunz: Pretty self explanatory, Nigredo/Gaignun is obviously Death.


	3. Yggdrasil Tree Stump

**Many changes have been made to this chapter, what was once just three pages is now five with a lot more detail and a lot more characterization. I'm much happier with this rewritten draft than I was with the original. I did keep many of the main points that was in the original chapter, just added some dialogue and action to it.**

**See bottom note for details**

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His hisses of pain and grunts of exhaustion were drowned out by the surrounding noises; the fires from the explosions, the echoing cries of civilians as they were gunned down, the roars of the realians that had lost their minds from the twisted song. Blood spattered the ground with every step, leaving behind him a trail of crimson. The bullet in his side flared pain through his body with each step, a shot in which one of his corrupted brothers had been responsible for. It would take more than one bullet to kill him though; that he was sure of, but if left untreated for too long the blood loss would becoming serious.

He pushed through the pain though, his mission had changed. 'Why did Rubedo cut the link?' He hissed as he pulled himself over a pile of rubble, cringing as it pulled at the invader in his side. 'What did he see?' His red haired brother hadn't allowed him to see through the web and instead, fled from their mission; he went against orders. They were supposed to connect the link and destroy U-DO; it's what they were trained for, what they were made for, why had he-?

"Ru-Rubedo," Dust in his throat caused him to choke and then erupt into a fit of coughs. He covered his mouth and hacked, breathing deep until his lungs settled and took his palm away to stare in worry at the drops of blood that hadn't been there before. He clenched his hand into a fist, "I've gotta find him," and continued limping in desperate search through the halls of the Labryinthos.

The floor changed from busted marble and concrete to iron grating and chain. As he came outside he winced at the sights in the sky; opponent AWGS soaring lethally through the air, zooming in and shooting down any other craft around. Even fellow units shot at each other, clearly driven made from the war. He turned his eyes away without a second thought; the skies were not his concern right now. Clanks sounded from his steps on the iron catwalk before he gave a yelp; the barrel of his gun became lodged in one of the grates, forcing him off balance and to the floor.

'Get up,' He gagged on his own breath as he tried to force himself back to his feet, groaning as his arms trembled under his own weight; he was exhausted. 'Get up!' He hissed, the wound in his side flared with sharp pain, 'You need to get up! You're dead on the floor!' Splotches of black began to invade his vision and suddenly his heart was in a vice.

His arms gave out underneath him, forcing him back down to lay his face on the cool metal chains underneath him. In broken pants he managed a glance down at his injury, seeing blood that had soaked his entire side. His gun was close near his feet, he tried reaching it with a foot but it was too far.

He let out a half croaked sigh at his hopeless situation. 'You need to rest,' he knew It was a bad idea but he was already on the floor, he was already worn down, he was already defeated. A silver lining presented itself, 'You need to finish the mission,' and despite the thought, he felt his heavy eyes begin to slip close.

'It's only just for a few seconds,' he decided he would lay here until he could breathe again and then he would go back to looking for Rubedo. He would understand, wouldn't he?

It was reflex to flinch at the nearby sound of gunfire, the sound that the war was still advancing, even without him, but what did he matter? He was just one soldier. In the lullaby of bloodshed and bullets he let his mind roam, why did this have to happen? It was just yesterday that he and his brothers were happy and playing another game of tag outside in the Institute's garden. They were smiling, laughing; having a great time, despite that the war was just a day away.

And now, here he was; alone, bleeding, and getting very, very cold. He bit his already bloody lip and opened his eyes, ignoring the ache that drummed in his head. Once more he glanced at the gun near his foot and tried reaching for it, grinding his teeth down from the horrible burn that erupted in his side.

'I can't,' He decided, 'I can't lay here while he's still out there,' His foot barely brushed against the metal barrel of the gun, just slightly skimming over the so close but so far weapon. Just a little more, "R-R-Rube…" and then there's a voice.

The raining bullets and bomb fire had been cut almost instantly. His movements stilled and his breathing almost stopped. It was a ring, a sharp sound breaking ring that echoed and pulsated through his ears like a heartbeat; mocking, taunting.

"How sad," Then the spell was broken; the gunfire, the screaming, the roar of turrets, everything was sat back in motion.

His motivation was heightened by the threat of an enemy and he almost gave a sigh of relief at the metallic clack he heard when his foot found the gun. Quickly, he tried to drag it over and just when he thought he had it his hope shattered; the weapon would not budge, as if glued in place.

"Look at the grand standing Nigredo now," His eyes shocked themselves wide at the nearby distance of the voice; right behind him. His name, though; how did this person know his name? "Oh, but wait," the laugh had been childish; a chuckle of young amusement, laced with dark intention. "You're not standing right now, are you?"

His instinct was the stay still; moving right now would more than likely get him shot. He held back a gulp at the sound of footsteps on the iron walk and then a clatter. A knot formed in his chest as he felt his gun being removed out from under his foot.

"Tsk, tsk, Nigredo." He then arched a brow at the familiar tone of the voice; no way, there was no chance. "Trying to walk when you're only fit to crawl," He managed to turn his head, not seeing anyone but for a small trace of white; just outside his peripheral vision.

"A-Albedo?" But how? After the attack of U-DO's waves the only ones that had been left were either dead or were wandering the halls; crazed. He hadn't seen Albedo anywhere, he hadn't even been able to connect a link; he thought that he was dead. "Y-You're alive!" He would be relieved but something was wrong, something was defiantly wrong. The air was thick with taint, the U-DO infection; h-he couldn't be! W-was Albedo infected?

There's a soft click, the sound of a trigger being played. The knot that was in his chest quickly moved down into his stomach and became cold. "A-Albedo, w-what are you doing?" He searched from side to side, still looking for his brother but he couldn't see him; the black spots in his eyes had quickly grown numerous and blocked most of his vision.

"Nothing," A childish, long and dragged retort, caused him to clench his hands into fists and press them against the grate. He felt it now, a surge of something that didn't belong; familiar and dangerous, U-DO. No, he still didn't want to accept it.

"Y-You can't b-"He was unprepared for the attack; a solid stomp against the middle of his back that kicks the breath out of him and causes him to shout in pain as he's forced back to the ground. The action causes a sharp pain to surge in his chest, on the left side, three below the heart; a broken rib.

"Secretive Nigredo…Don't think that I don't know," He huffs for air but the pressure is strangling him. He quickly freezes when hot breath blows against his right ear. Above; Albedo's standing right above him, on him, leaning down and whispering his next words, "About your mission."

'No way,' He thought, wincing when his brother, almost gently, runs a hand through his hair; it's wet. 'There know way he could know about that.' The hand becomes a fist, jerking his head back against the weight of his foot holding him down.

The whisper in his ear spits venom "I know all about that, Nigredo." His hisses when a sharp prink envelopes his earlobe; Albedo had bit him. From the contact he shift, moves his hands again and tries to push.

"Get off m-omph!" The force on his back increases, he feels another painful surge in his chest; another rib broken, fourth down, this time on the right side. His cry leaves him in a ragged sob, Albedo releases his head. He doesn't stop it from hitting the floor, pain centered too much in his chest for any other to matter.

The white haired variant starts to mock him, "'Aah! Help me, Rubedo! Where are you, Rubedo?'" His brother whine's before spitting on the back of his neck with a scoff, "Big baby."

He groans; his body is bleeding and aching, ready to give in and give up. 'No,' He thought and tipped his head to rest one of his hot and wet cheeks on the cold chain, when had he started crying? 'I need to…get up.'

"Still trying to run away?" There's more laughter from the boy standing on him and then he feels the heat; heat like the sun, heat like burning acid, just inches above, resonating from his white haired brother, the heat of U-DO. "Run away, run away, run to run another day!" It's starts to burn inside and out; his genetic code fighting his will to try and search out a link. "Just like Rubedo, you both run away. You both run together!"

Rubedo; the coding inside of him wins at the mention of the name and in waves, reaches out desperately for the familiar sense that was his older sibling, the eldest of the three, and the link master. Pain automatically flares to his head as it's jerked to the side, a heavy pistol whip to the temple

"Don't even think about it. Rubedo will come running to you anyways, no link needed." He murmurs weak distress when he feels blood dribble down the side of his forehead, but now there's no more pain; everything starts to go numb.

The insane laughter of his corrupted brother is the only thing he has to hold onto for him to stay conscious, "The dragon runs to death and death gets his chance!" It's a sound that erupts from the chest; like a growl, a feral and demonic roar. "He runs to you, reaper!"

The weight on his back is gone but he has no time for relief before his world is tumbled on its side. He closes his eyes from the motion and stomach to roll up into his throat, forcing him to swallow back the bile.

He can see him now; his younger brother, Albedo. His once pearl white hair is matted in dirt and thick splashing of blood that runs down his face. Its trails dribble through his bright toxic eyes, making him look as though he were crying in his madness. His once childish grin and smile was now a snarl of knives and daggers, a mouth that yearned with hunger. A uniform of bullet holes and skin unscratched; Nigredo easily knew that only half of the blood was actually Albedo's.

He's given a devil's grin. "Running to you, he makes your job easier," Albedo's face then becomes neutral and he goes lax at the knees, legs spread over the battered and broken body beneath him. As much as Nigredo wants to run and get away, he knew he was trapped, there was nothing left for him to do was watch his life flash by his eyes.

"But you wanna know something?" Albedo nods for him and presses a finger to his lip in a hush motion. "Poor Rubedo, doesn't even know." He feels his eyes slipping close from the statement but they're slapped back open. "Don't fall asleep! Wake up! You should be excited!"

And then he's off of him; in a clutter of his shoes against the iron grating and the gun being scraped against the ground. He doesn't bother watching him, to try and watch him is to move his head and cause more pain.

"The dragon may not be able to see through Deaths concealing hood but the Pheonix and its rebirthing fire illuminates the lie!" Albedo's footsteps stomp and echo around him, the background of the war is once again, mute; only the madness rings "The phoenix's fire shows him everything and lets him watch; watch for your bone hand to slip your scythe." Albedo comes into sight again, one of his hands pushed through his dirty hair and almost ripping it out. He ducks his head, shoulders shaking, and then he shouts at him.

"He runs to you when he's supposed to run to me!" The statement was laced with bloody tears and sobs that sounded pained. It's when the gun is pointed at him that he somehow moves again, automatically regretting it when a volt of agony splits up his spine. Albedo takes lethal steps towards him, glossy hysteric eyes glaring tears.

"The dragon _always_ wars with the phoenix, they're _always_ clashing together_! _But why does the dragon let himself be trapped under the dying roots?" He stops in front of him, gun pressed and aimed straight at the gut but he doesn't shoot, instead Albedo tips his own head to the side and gives an almost gleeful smile. "I've already cut the tree down; the Sakura petals were suffocating but now we can all breathe fresh air."

His voice sounds as though he's swallowed barbed wire, so broken and soft he was almost sure that his brother hadn't heard his plea, "Albedo." But he had; he crouches over him with one knee beside his waist, he reaches for him. Inclining his head just slightly away from the hand Nigredo knows it's futile but what he got was not what he was expecting; his bangs being softly brushed out of his half blind eyes.

"Ssh," The hand then drops over his mouth to cover it. Albedo lowers himself and presses a kiss to the center of his brother's forehead. "The reaper's supposed to be silent."

His body jerked and spammed, the hand over his mouth muffling his loud screams. His eyes filled with overwhelming tears and his nerves cried out in pain as bullets embedded themselves into his stomach; Albedo's finger on the trigger.

When his head hits the floor and finally his eyes closed, he feels another kiss placed on his forehead and the warmth of an open link sooth over his mind, giving voice to his desperate question.

'_Rubedo…Rubedo…__**Where for are't thou Rubedo?!'**_

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**To explain this chapter I would have to tell you about the Tree of Life in Norse Mythology, also known as the Yggdrasil. In Norse myth the Yggdrasil is the tree of life that supports and sustains the world. Above the tree, living in its branches, is an unnamed phoenix. Below the tree, trapped by eating its roots, is a dragon known as Niohoggr. These two creatures are envious of each other and constantly fight and argue with each other with the aid of another creature, the squirrel named Ratatoskr; who sends messages between the two.**

**Albedo compares the Tree of Yggdrasil to Sakura; in reference to the Sakura tree. He compares the phoenix to himself; an undying bird that's own death is a rebirth. He compares Rubedo to the dragon; for both namesake and the fact that Niohoggr leaches from the roots of the Yggdrasill (Sakura) tree. Albedo also calls Nigredo the reaper; a reaper is not mentioned in Norse mythology, so I also added Nigredo as being compared to the tree's roots; trapping Rubedo (Niohoggr) underneath the tree and keeping him from physically attacking the Pheonix. **

**Albedo appears to Nigredo during the Miltian Conflict as being freshly corrupted by U-DO. I wanted him to appear both menacing, mad, but also show a little of the old Albedo he was. Near the end I had Albedo start to cry to show that he was still human, and hurt by what Rubedo had done, abandoning him and the others. When he says that he had 'cut the tree down to breathe fresh air' I put reference to Sakura being killed by U-DO and Albedo feeling glad that she's dead. In the game Albedo felt that Sakura was a distraction to him and his brothers.**

**Albedo shows his twisted and deranged love for Nigredo in his own way when he soothes his hair out of his face and kisses his forehead. He states that the 'reaper is supposed silent' to remind Nigredo of his character, covers his mouth to make him quiet, and then shoots him to keep him quiet. In the opening of Xenosaga 2, Rubedo can be seen carrying a bloodied and half dead Nigredo. In reference to Xenosaga 1, while Nigredo was shown looking for Rubedo he made contact with the freshly corrupted Albedo. I want to say that Albedo was the cause for Nigredo's serious, albeit life threatening, wounds. **

**That was a long bottom A/N note and I apologize. I hope that cleared up a few things in the chapter for those first reading it. Please, be kind and leave a sweet review.**


	4. Contradictory

**This is another chapter taking place during the Miltian Conflict, directly on the battlefield...Because apparently my mind works best when I think about guns being pointed at eachother and people dying...Hmmmmm...**

**Anyways, the title of the chapter says it all...And people reading, PLEASE REVIEW. I am a review Nazi, I know people are reading this story but only ONE of them is actually giving me a review, plus a friend from shcool who I sit by which I have to remind to do said reviewing. (BTW Phoenix, thank you so much for your loyalty -hands cookie- )**

**People are even reading my other story and not reviewing, when its hits are like...Over one hundred and get about thirty visitors...**

**Honestly some people can be so lazy...Anyways my rant is done.**

**Enjoy the story...AND TELL ME**

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Commandment states 'thou shall not kill' because it is sin. That being said he wondere dif their 'birth' was a sin.

The URTV's were not born though so much so as they were made…So manmade sin was to make sin? The concept confused him.

Sin was religion and religion went against the science that made him. The two theories of living had butt-heads from then 5,000 years ago to now, in the present; as he questioned his existence on the battlefield.

He was a being made into science so religion was the last thing that should be on his mind. But religion states that every man is free…But he isn't?

Chains of war shackled him to his destiny, but he thought destiny or suppose 'fate' was a religious concept, or was science trying to lie to him?

Nigredo clutched his gun tightly and watched in horror at the battle. His brothers, little and older marched and shot at those unarmed and unprotected. He heaved himself to higher ground and shot.

He needed to find him.

"Rubedo!" he called and shot his barrage. He hit his mark, killed his family.

Guilt should have clutched at his heart, but he forced it away. He had no right to feel it to his understanding.

'Thou shall not kill.' Is written but he's killing. There-for is sinning…Worse he's killing his family.

"Rubedo!" he called once more and ran off to find the red haired variant.

It was his mission to kill and protect…But wasn't that a contradiction? He had another to kill; his brother…He was the scapegoat, the deadpool, the back up…

"Rubedo!" he called louder, terrified that he'd never get a reply.

Why should he get a reply though? Wasn't his existence to kill his brother anyways? Why should he call for him? Why should he even be trying to find him? Was it so that nobody could get him first, so that he could kill Rubedo himself?

But wait…'thou shall not kill' it is stated, it is faith that states he shall not kill, religion is faith is it not?

Fate and destiny are two sides of the same coin, and wasn't his own destiny something he chased?

"Where are you!" He cried

'Where…Oh where…Is his red headed faith?'


	5. Curiosity Killed The Cat

**Hello and once again thank you Phoenix for the faithful review. I bring you the next chapter of Truth Lies and expect people to give me some feedback. I didn't just sit here and type this with my sweet tea beside me for nothing.**

**Remember comments and feedback is thanked and enjoy.**

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They had found it during a game of hide and seek. Well, he had found it really, choosing a bush to hide behind and discovered the creature as it rubbed against his leg.

It was loud and gave away his hiding spot with meowing and other sounds of begging for attention. Rubedo was it at that time and Albedo was with him, (of course never hiding too far from his red haired twin to begin with.)

"It's a cat." The link master said with smiling, crouching over the animal and petting its furry brown and white splotched head tenderly.

"What it doing here?" He asked, animals weren't allowed on the Institute, unless for testing. If not for testing then the occasional squirrel and bird but that was something the pest control couldn't do a thing about.

"A real cat?" Albedo beamed and hovered over Rubedo's shoulder to get a better look at the creature. Cats and dogs were commonly found as artificial models and it was rare to find a real house animal.

Rubedo nodded "Yup, its real." he gently scratched behind the cats ear and checked the inside skin of both of them, getting a bit of an annoyed bat from the kittens paw. "There's no barcode brand on it, so its gotta be real."

Nigredo shook his head at the odd rumbling sound that left the cats chest (the sound that was defined as…a purr…) "It shouldn't be here. If the scientist find it-

Albedo stood straight with his twin who picked up the kitten into his arms. "Nigredo's right!" Albedo nodded

The black haired little brother smiled, happy that he was understood. "Yeah, so lets just get rid of-

"I've got an idea!" Nigredo was cut off for the second time during the day.

Cuddling the cat to his chest, Rubedo grinned at his brothers. "We can hide him!"

Albedo (of course) was eager to agree to his brother, jumping with joy. "So, so we're going to keep him?"

Nigredo quickly shook his head. "Now wait just a minute!" he hated to burst their child like enthusiasm but the black haired boy was one to follow their fathers strict orders, besides a cat?

"We can't keep it, who's gonna fee it? What if someone else finds it?"

Both the red haired and white whined, the cat smartly joining them with a hoarse mewl, adding to their trio of woe.

Crossing his arms, Nigredo stood his ground against the chorus "No!"

*Insert more whining needy sounds here*

"B-But, I'll feed it some of my dinner, we can take turns sharing with it." Albedo tried to reason, a good idea on his part. Point one for Albedo.

"I am not splitting my dinner with a cat, besides how would you get the food out here without being caught? You know the scientists are strict about curfew." Nigredo reminded, having mentioned curfew and the lack of sneakiness Albedo had. Two points to Nigredo's side of the argument.

"I could sneak it out." Rubedo stated and nuzzled the thin boney kitten. "A-And I could sneak him in our room for him to be out of the weather, besides; we know the Institute hallways better than the scientists, I know some good hiding places, and Albedo knows some places that are even hidden on the area scan in the monitor room." Because Rubedo was the leader of the little team they had formed, he had the most points in his argument. Ten points to Rubedo, Rubedo is in the league.

Nigredo kept his arms crossed and opened his mouth to continue to area, his mind pulled up blanks on what else they could have trouble with. "A-And…And if we got caught? The pest control would take the cat and probably skin it. Then they'd tell dad and I'm not getting dragged into fault with you tw-

"."

Nigredo stared at the large doe eyes that were shined at him.

'Stand you're ground, Nigredo! don't let them get to you just because they're older than you. I mean come on, it's a cat!' He kept his eyes on theirs and swallowed what lump become stuck in his throat, regretting so as he found it to be his heart, which upon swallowing was now back in his chest where it belonged, beating loudly and painfully.

"Oh….Fine….but….He needs a name." He admitted defeat

"YAY!"

"Who's gonna name him?" Nigredo asked and rubbed the bridge in between his eyes, trying to get an on coming headache to go away.

The twin brothers glanced at each other before looking back to their younger sibling and grinned.

Nigredo found himself being handed the cat against his will.

"You found him." The cat meowed gently in his arms, purring loudly against his chest, and nuzzled him. "You name him."

Nigredo soon found himself hating cats.

* * *

**I always wondered how they found the cat (Gaignun) and just decided to do a random one shot. For those eager I've got a three part shot coming, the shot is still in the making in my notebook but I assure you, it will be worth it. The 'pairings' if that's the word you want to use, mainly revolved around NigredoxCitrine, NigredoxJuli, and NigredoxSakura. I had a request for a brief onlook involving our black haired boy with the orange haired URTV so for those of you who want to read, hold your eagerness and I will try to get it out as soon as I finish part 1.**


	6. Anything You Can Do prt1

**Hello everyone, thank you for reading and reviewing to this point if you have been, and for those who haven't...Well that's a topic that'll just keep this note going on for a while. Anyways, this is the chapter I know one of my readers has been eager to read. **

**This chapters 'pairing' in the word is based around NigredoxCitrine, if you find any mistakes please let me know.**

**Review, I don't wanna have to tell you guys.**

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He had heard that there was a girls ward somewhere on the grounds, but he never really gave it any thought because it didn't really bother or strike up any curiosity in him.

Finding the orange haired variant with a bigger chest, longer legs, and higher soprano tone though had him thinking a little bit more about girls and a little less about training and playing with his brothers.

He'd seen her in the halls and outside areas and she would try to start conversation. For a sake of getting water underneath the bridge with a fellow (although female) variant, he'd carry on the chat with awkward untrained murmurs and nods of his head.

She had found it obvious that he had no experience when it came to girls.

It wasn't anything either of them could have helped, after all the wards were separated based on gender. Citrine though decided to educate him.

There was nothing odd or unusual about it to him but she for some reason always found an excuse to be around him. Not that he didn't mind he just didn't know how to react. She actually told him that he should feel grateful to her for wanting to be around him.

_There's a word for what she was…_

She told him that he should learn all he could from her and honestly he didn't deny that he was curious, which was weird because he certainly wasn't before she came around.

_What was that word?_

His brothers were obviously concerned, much to his displeasure. Already Albedo was upset with Rubedo on the Sakura topic and Rubedo…Vice versa with Albedo…More girl problems was the last thing they needed between them.

So like the stray pad foot he was, he simply told them it was nothing that he didn't already have under control.

_Its on the tip of his tongue._

She did fascinate him however. She was smart, witty, but had a complex of wanting to step up over everyone, whether it be in a conversation, argument, or training (course nobody could do that…Well except for Albedo, but he would never dream of taking Rubedo's top as number one.)

It was that 'anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better' attitude.

_Oh yeah…_

But still…

_Obnoxious_

He couldn't help but feel a bit put off when around her.

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**This is part one of three that I have planned, part two is still under production, part three I haven't even started on writing yet, but keep in mind that when it comes to idea's and plot bunnies, they aren't that hard to think about. The title is Anything You Can Do and it will come into play around the second part and the third, keep your pants on and be patient. Consider it a late Christmas present.**

**Happy Holidays - Gunz**


	7. From The Ashes

**Its been way too long since I've updated this story. Phoenix I am so sorry, I hope you still review. Anyways, I'm back into a good swing of Xenosaga and my NOES stories. I've got at least some free time now and then but I know it won't last. My grandmother recently broke her leg and now the doctors tell us she's got scar tissue in her lungs. So, that's not good and already what time isn't taken up by school is taken up by tending to her.**

**Here's your update, I'm in the process of working on some more. Chapter breakdown at the bottom like usual.**

**Karma's a bitch so don't be one and review.**

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He had felt the blistery chill of frozen water particles before, in Sakura's domain. It had been white, shined in the artificial sunlight, and bit at his skin like the element itself was starved. His fingers, cheeks, and nose had been turned red. To create heat his body shook and his teeth were forced to chatter. After he had spent enough time in the...snow...His fingertips would go numb, as well as his toes. Against his body's signals however that he needed warmth he continued to play in the white substance scooping it up in his hands and rolling it into balls. His once numb fingers then erupted into pain.

It was during war that he felt the cold return to him, a frozen calling that echoed from inside of his chest. At first he ignored it, playing it off like it was an act of nerves. The sound of gunshots and exploding A.W.G.S. rattled his eardrums, and the falling stars that lit up the sky turned red as the gasoline met the engines of the piloted machines. He kept running though, he kept up with his brothers even as his ears rung from the explosions.

A wet cough left his lips when his chest was ripped open with metal pellets. The force of impact, knocked him off balance and back, if he hadn't of managed to turn himself before landing, helping him to land on his hands, he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to get up. It was pain that he had never felt before, burning him from the inside out. He had forced himself back to his feet, looked at his corrupted brother, and destroyed what was left of his already incarcerated brain. He picked up his gun, gagging at the amount of blood that slipped from his lips, and forced through the pain to find his separated family.

He saw darkness at its best, a void covered him like the shadow it was. The ringing in his ear became louder, and everything else was muffled, like he was surrounded by walls. The bitter cold in his chest spread, running through his veins like ice, if it wasn't so hard to open his eyes and look he would be able to see the blood that covered his entire body.

Someone was talking to him, the muffled sound was drowned out by the ringing.

He was playing in the snow again, but this time the world was dark. There were no tree's, no grass, no birds, no sound; not even as he walked did the snow crunch loudly under his feet. He opened his mouth to call for his brothers but no voice left his lips. He panicked, and he ran.

And ran, and he ran, and he ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. His pants were noiseless, his cried were of silence, and his heart didn't even beat in his ears. The snow covered ground continued to span out before him, the black sky continued to eat his his surroundings. He turned his head to see how far he had gotten and realized that there was no a single print in the snow.

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He gave up and mentally told himself that this was the end. He couldn't move because the dead was still, he couldn't talk because the dead could not talk, he couldn't breath because the dead could not breath. His heart did not beat because he was dead, he accepted it. He grew to hate the snow and the insecurity it brought him with its print-less white.

A change of scenery occurred, a light in the distance. His chest suddenly ached and after what felt like an eternity he heard something whisper to him from afar. He ran; whether going anywhere or not, he ran.

* * *

At first it was a soft humming, pulsing in his ears. He felt something smooth under his fingers, and something jarring movement in his left arm. He was heavy, he was tired, he was hungry, he opened his eyes.

He was blinded by light, and then a face.

"Rubedo..." He voice was horse, it hadn't been used in almost a year. The red head smiled, he smiled widely at his little brother. His face seemed paler than the dark haired boy remembered, but his eyes were as bright and glassy as ever. Something was off though.

He reached up, wincing as the needle pulled at his arms. Ignoring the protest his stiff limb made as he cupped the older boys face, rubbing his thumb under his eye to catch the trailing moister that leaked.

"Why are you crying?"

"_You're alive."_

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**Nigredo was seriously wounded in the Conflict, I can't see him getting better from that in just a day. Honestly the wounds by appearance were multiple and the URTV's were actually outfitted with automatics; if anything if technology hadn't been as good as it was he would have died, obviously. **

**I started thinking about it and during the beginning clips of Xenosaga two it shown that Nigredo has lost a lot of blood, to point that he should have already been dead. Anyways, because of the technology in that time I figure that maybe they could have put him in a stasis or something as he recovered? This chapter is based pretty much of Nigredo in that stasis that I imagine him in, maybe his takes on it. I tried to him a bit of a vulnerable feeling, a trapped feeling; something to have him panic because well, you never really know what's going on to a coma patient.**


	8. Identity Theft

**Its obvious what I was thinking when I wrote this. In the second game Rubedo did promise that one day they would all go to a real beach when in Sakura's domain, and in the first game it shows he kept to his promise, making one.**

**I've realized that I'm really into Rubedo's personality, considering that I act just like him, to a point it's scary. It makes me happy knowing we're on the same wavelink, hehe get it?**

**Anyways, karma's a bitch, don't be one. Leave a good review.**

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"You're a genius." Gaignun, at his desk, smiled at comment from his brother whom sat across the room. "No, seriously. You're amazing." He chuckled and shifted to support his head with the palm of his hand. There was a gleeful giggle, in only a way that Rubedo could, followed by the scratch of flipping papers. "Do you know when it'll be done?"

"With as smooth as things have been running, I'd say about the end of the year." There was a skid, which Giagnun glanced up to see, had come from the chair his brother forced to balance on its back two legs. "It's taken a while for the company to have sufficient enough income to sustain both itself and the project, but I think the wait's been worth it."

"I feel kinda cheated though." The black haired buisness man raised an elegant brow at the statement, having no idea what his brother could mean. Straightening his posture he dropped his hands in front of him to link his figners together.

"What do you mean?" He asked, watching as his brother tipped the chair back and forth, both out of excitment and maybe some form of childish pouting.

"Well, it's just..." The red head let out a loud sigh and Gaignun felt his lips tighten up into a smile. Despite the red heads age he made it a habit to almost act the same age he looked. "I was the one who promised to take us to the beach, remember?" He nodded his head, encouraging his brother to continue. "Then shouldn't I be the one leading the project?"

Gaignun lifted his fist to his mouth to hide his smile, tapping his knuckles against his lips. "Then it's a good thing you're doing just that." Rubedo lifted his eyebrows in confusion, a stumped look appearing over his face.

The youngest pointed to the papers before the red head glanced down at them and flipped to the last page, his eyes running over the signiture line. The chair was pushed back on all fours as a large grin came to the gunman's face. A promise was found kept, written in black ball point ink.

"Nice."

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**For those of you who don't know, a few months back I lost a very important flashdrive that had all of my updates on it as well as a few stories that I had not yet posted. Well, there was no way to recover that flashdrive and since I lost it I went into a bit of a depression. **

**Now that I got back on my feet I began to update stories again with a new laptop in my arms, guess what happened. It broke, it fell off my bed and landed on a cold hard wood floor. So, there's more updates that was lost, lucky I went ahead and put some on another flash drive I had before the damage occured.**

**So now, here I am, updating what I can from my brother's laptop. Looking for summer jobs as I go, and writing what idea's i have in a very thick, five hundred page notebook. Yes, notebooks are back as my main way to update stories, this way I hav enothing to lose unless there's a fire...**

**Anyways, with summer already on it's way I have at least twelve more chapters for this story written that I am typing as we speak. So, till I have more posted enjoy the slow, yet moderate, updates.**


	9. Anything You Can Do prt2

**This is as the title says it is, part two of Anything You Can Do. For those of you who have not read it, simply go back and give it a look, just don't forget to review.**

**I've had this one in my notebook for some time now but have been putting it off for so long. With time on my hands I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and type it down. Though I had rather of waited till someone reviewed the previous chapter I posted, it's been at least two days since then and I'm just going to go ahead and post this so the jiggly feeling in my stomach goes away, what is that called? Oh yeah, anticipation.**

**Karma's a bitch. So, don't be one. Leave a review.**

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It continued, despite his better wishes. Citrine made it very clear, almost everyday, that she had something to be proud of. She would show it in different ways; sticking her nose high in the air in a way to seem taller than everyone around her. He didn't mind it, he ignored and played daft to her body language, especially after Albedo had caught him staring after her.

"What? What's so special about her?" He asked, Nigredo just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know."

"Well, stop staring at her so much." The white haired variant said nothing else and walked away. "Ignore it and it'll go away." However little that way of thinking worked out between him, Rubedo, and Sakura.

But he could not ignore it. He could not stand knowing about the little things that make up what went on around the Institution, and he made it habit to know everything that went on around the Institution. So, he did what would come naturally to a teenage boy and asked questions.

Since her arrival to the Institution Juli had made somewhat of a reputation between her and the other URTVs. Whether she knew or not, that didn't much effect them, but they had come to think of her as a sort of godmother.

Not ever knowing their real mother; besides the fact that her egg held the perfect fertility for their cloning, Juli was everything they needed to know about a real mother. She was kind and showed genuine concern for them, despite their not being human. In rare cases some of the other URTVs would take to habit of following around one of the female scientists, but they were not the same as Juli. As she would smile and ask if they needed anything, the other scientists would bat them away and report to Dmitri of their work being interrupted by the stalking child.

It was for these reasons that Nigredo went to Juli.

"What's so great about being a girl?" He asked bluntly raising a brow; as the brown haired woman lost composure and did a spit take of her early morning coffee. Quickly muttering a curse under her breath she wiped away the fresh spots of the caffeine from her desk with a close by tissue, not allowing the liquid to stain the oak wood. "I'm sorry." He apologized, knowing he should have knocked first before entering.

She waved him off. "No, no, dear." She smiled, tossing the soiled wipe away in the bucket beside her desk. "It's fine." She composed herself, wiping what could be on her clothes, but they remained clean. "What did you ask?" With a smile she offered her hand to the seat that was across from her desk; for visitors with who he assumed had questions much like himself.

He nodded his head in thanks and made his way to chair, taking the comfortable seat. "I asked, what's so great about being a girl?" He repeated as Juli looked over some papers that were in front of her, spared from the coffee.

She laid the documents down and gave him a bit of a confused (or was it worried?) look. "Did something happen for you to ask this?" It made him smile, knowing that Juli was truly concerned for him, unlike most of the doctors and scientists which dismissed them saying things along the lines of URTVs not having 'real' problems.

He looked down at his hands and toyed his fingers together. "Well, I don't know if you know Citrine or not, but she's the new URTV variant." Juli gave him a small nod, her hands already folded in front of her in a way of looking professional.

"I've met her, yes." She answered "She's a darling girl, it was hard to believe that she was a clone of Yuriev when I first talked to her." Nigredo felt his shoulders slouch.

'Citrine's already made an impression on her, _great_.' He thought and made a small face. "Well, she keeps saying that she's better than everyone else." He wormed out, mentally noting that he sounded like he was tattling. "And that if it wasn't for her, the project would go downhill, because boy's are too simple." He bit his lip and forced a glance up at the woman, seeing her stare at him with interest.

"I see..." She drifted and then gave a small womanly giggle. "And have you asked your father this too?" He quickly sat up straight, as mentioning Demitri as his 'father' tended to cause a cold creepy feeling to worm in his stomach. If anything, he considered the man more of one of the scientists than a father, not that he would say it out-loud. Nigredo shifted in his seat, still worrying his lip over his teeth, not sure what to tell the awaiting woman. "I'll take that as a no." Juli responded for him after a short minute.

"It's just that he's too busy, and I don't want to interrupt him." He lied.

"Well, I'm busy too Nigredo." With that said she had a pencil in her hand to make a point, but instead of filling forms of compiling information she merely played with it. "But I understand. You'd rather have a woman answer a question about another woman."

"Yeah." He nodded, "That too."

Juli watched him for a few seconds, thinking. "Nigredo, I'm not entirely sure how to answer your question. At least not without seeming sexist." She murmured and finally shook her head. "Lets see if this will answer your question." Nigredo scooted up in his seat with his ears open and eyes at attention. Juli smiled at him, glad to see his focus was on her.

"When a women is a girl, we're often brought to think that we're special, if not then we come to the conclusion on our own." She started."I even raised my Sakura to believe that she is my little princess, and she is."

Nigredo tilted his head. "Princess?"

She smiled "I know it may sound a little odd, but girls like to be told they're important. We like compliments and to believe we're special." His look of confusion did not falter.

"Women have...complicated minds Nigredo. You'll learn more as you get older."

"So Citrine thinks she's better, because she was told she was?" He asked "Or because she's complicated?" He shook his head. "I don't get it."

"As I said, it's complicated." Juli sighed, "You're better off asking Citrine this, or Sakura."

"Okay." Nigredo murmured, before a look of sheer glee came to his face. "Oh! Okay!" He grinned and stood up. "Thank you, Juli! Um, would it be okay if I go talk to Sakura now?" The hazel eyes woman raised a brow.

"Well, yes. I don't see why not but-"

"Thanks!" Juli watched as the black haired variant shot out of the room like it was on fire. Leaning back in her chair she watched as her door slid slowly shut from the boys departing.

"You're welcome." She chuckled and shook her head, lifting her mug to finish her coffee.

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**Part three shall be the final part of the Anything You Can Do shots. Look for it, sometime this week.**


	10. Anything You Can Do prt3

**This was so much fun to type. I know I really enjoyed doing this one because of two things. One: my handwriting of this shot was really sloppy in my notebook, meaning the idea was so awesome I had to rush to get it on paper. And two: I was laughing all the while typing this.**

**This is the third and last shot of Anything You Can Do, and I must say that, even though it's taken me a while to get this story updated to this point, it was fun.**

**Anyways, karma's a bitch. So, don't be one. Review nicely and tell me what you think.**

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He wasn't asked too many questions when he told the head scientist in charge that he wanted to see Sakura. Normally his brothers would go in with him, and that did cause some stir when Nigredo appeared by himself.

"I just want to talk to her." He replied when asked why he wanted to go in. Normally they would only use the dive simulation for training but as Nigredo had already finished his training for the day they merely shrugged and told him to get set up.

He was relieved that they didn't think to ask Yuriev if it was alright.

Nigredo was just like his brothers when they first came into Sakura's domain. It was a new world that they had never seen before. At first it was dark and cramped and to be honest Nigredo had thought that was the domain itself; a closet without any space to move. But then, the door gave way under their shoving and prodding and they tumbled out into the large room, looking nothing like the ones lived in.

The walls were of warm color, unlike their cold steel ones which plaster gray offered no brightness. She had an actual window in her room, opened to let the cool summer breeze waft in. They did not have any windows in their rooms, maybe in the girls ward, but he was never allowed down that hallway, even if to check and see.

Their fall had been cushioned by a pale brown carpet, soft to the touch, and smelt slightly of soap. It was no cold marble floor, and there were no tangles of cords and wires to trip them. Its plush was less than that of the dolls that sat near her bed; her comfortable looking bed, where she laid. He himself had wanted to lay on it, just for a moment, as the mattress looked so much more inviting than their bunks.

Not much changed from the first visit. When entering her home he was assaulted by the smell of soap, and what he wondered could have been the scent of the ocean. It was a salty smell, yet at the same time there was a blend of something pleasant, something he couldn't well describe.

The artificial winds from outside blew their her windows, and played on the wind chimes of hollow wood that hung from her front porch, combined with a small tune that lifted from her sea shell music box. Nigredo felt something green stir inside him, much like Albedo, he was jealous of the girl. Though in 'taking away Rubedo' as Albedo so put it, in a sense it was also taking Rubedo away from him. But that was not was he was jealous of. No, Rubedo could take care of himself, and Nigredo was in no means as possessive as his older white haired brother.

Nigredo was jealous of her home. He was jealous of how wonderful she presented a normal life, a life he would never had nor could have. He was jealous of how human she was, and her human life. He was jealous of the taste of the fruit juice she presented him. The comfortable chair she and he sat in, that was inviting and did not disturb his backside. He gave her a smile as she shared her living place with him, making him feel as 'at home' as she could.

"You need something right, Nigredo?" He nodded his head, happy she didn't ask him about the strain in his smile.

"I wanted to ask you something, but it might sound a little weird." Juli was right, talking with Sakura was a whole lot easier than talking to her. "I tried asking Juli but she only made it more confusing."

The brunette tilted her head, her green eyes glowing with kindness. Nigredo could understand why Rubedo liked her so much; she was so nice, too nice for her own good with Albedo around the corner. "Well, what is it?"

"It's gonna sound...odd." She only continued to smile, nodding her head for him to go on. He took a deep breath and glanced down at his glass of fruit juice. "Are girls better than boys?"

She raised her brows and made a bit of a face before giggling and setting down her glass on the coffee table beside her. "You're right, that is a weird question." He sagged his shoulders and sighed. Curiosity killed the cat and it was certainly doing a good job of running Nigredo up a tree.

"Well?" He glanced up at her, waiting for her own answer.

"Did you ask your dad?" He groaned and sat down his glass on the table next to hers.

"Why does everything think I should ask him?" He grumbled, crossing his arms. Was it normal for the boys to ask the fathers questions like this?

"Well, he is your dad. But, I think girls are just as good a boys." She answered, smiling an apology for bringing up, what appeared to be, a sore subject for the black haired boy.

"Juli said girls were raised to think they were better." Sakura laughed and shook her head.

"Well, yeah." She giggled "Most girls are, but I don't think I'm better than you." She picked back up her glass "You can do so many things I can't. I can't talk outside this world, and I can't fight." She explained "But you can, you were born knowing so much."

Nigredo shook his head "But, Citrine was too." Suddenly her eyes widened.

"Oh, we're talking about Citrine? I thought we were just talking about all girls in general." She shook her head "Does Citrine act like she's better than you?"

Nigredo nodded, knowing the brunette had met Citrine before on a training day. "She sticks her nose up in the air, and she talks to me like I'm some kind of dog."

Sakura hummed casually to herself, thinking. With a shake of her head she shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know, maybe she just likes you."

Nigredo stared, his mouth opening to comment, but closed it. He blinked a few times processing what he was just told.

"...Likes me?" He asked.

"Yeah, when a girl's mean to you, it's normally because she likes you." Sakura smiled, and finished her drink.

"How does that even work?!"

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**Oh yes, this was very fun.**


	11. Blame

**I was thinking that it was not very clarified on what happened to Gaignun when Yuriev was taking over. Of course we all saw that he did a lot of stuff he shouldn't have, but I mean mentally. I delved into what Gaignun might have been thinking while drifting in the U-DO waves of his mind.**

**Reviews supply faster updates, and good karma.**

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Nobody would ever know if there was life after death. If there really was a hell or a heaven, nobody would ever know. Nobody would ever know if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Nobody would ever know if dead relatives and loved ones would be waiting for them with warm smiles and welcoming arms. Nobody would ever know if there would be demons to drag you into the dark. Nobody would ever know if there would be a personal devil to torment you for your living sins. Nobody would ever know any of it.

And that's what scared him most.

Rubedo would scold him if he was caught thinking like this, but then again Rubedo wasn't here to catch him, was he? He shook his head and closed his eyes. That was mean of him to think; it wasn't Rubedo's fault that he was in pain and it was unfair of him to blame. Rubedo was with him, as was Albedo; swirling together in waves of crimson and a poison tinted purple. Where was he?

He was the void, he supposed. He was the black vastness that he was drifting in; his mind. It scared him to think about just where he really was. No, that wasn't right. He knew where he was, but he was scared to admit it. Scared to admit the fact that just maybe, just maybe, a shred of the demon had been living in him. He always knew deep down the possibility, the chance, but he never admitted it.

Call him selfish for never warning Rubedo, but then he noticed as the waves purple blended with red, that it had already been taken care of. Albedo had warned him, _his precious red head_-"Stop." He muttered. Shaking his head felt like running a marathon, he was too tired to do it, so he just whispered.

Albedo had warned him too, but he didn't listen. Albedo had known, because this demon inside of him had shown him and told him everything he needed to know. _Nigred_-Gaignun hadn't listened but he didn't want to listen, didn't want to admit that the white haired sibling had been right.

He should have admitted it. He shouldn't have let it fester inside of him, like some _bullet woun_-sore. He should have told Rubedo just when things were going downhill. He should wake up and tell him now, but it was too late wasn't it?

He felt the presence of his pain knocking at the back door to his mind, and suddenly he was small again. He was no longer drifting but standing amongst the haze of red, purple, and black. He was no longer a tall and powerful business man, but a small and weak boy. In his hands, he held his courage in the shape of a gun; the very same gun that he had shot that night, when the poison snuck into him.

"I'm not going to do what you want." He whimpered, as the haze around him thickened. "I won't."

The door opened, and he did what he was born knowing to do. The gun was raised, the trigger was squeezed, and the hammer fell.

His mind was lost to the click of unloaded courage.

"_Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis."_

"_**Not you, not me, but us."**_


	12. Security

**This one kinda just happened. It wasn't written in my notebook, it wasn't planned, it wasn't drawn out. No, I just started typing and blah, instant feels. By the short time that I got done and reread over it, my heart jerked. I mean, this is so sad even for me. Anyways, here it is and I do hope you enjoy. However short it is, I think the feels it will bring makes it okay.**

**Please review, as it is the motivation that makes me update faster.**

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Some nights were worse than others. He realized that it was night when it rained that he should keep his door open, even when now they were in both in their twenties. It didn't matter; age didn't mean a thing between them.

What happened, happened. And during those rainy, storming nights, sometimes the nightmares would be too real.

And when they were, his door was open for the redhead to slip through. His mind was calming, washing away the redhead's sense of fear. His arms were wide, taking the sibling in, and embracing him to his chest. His heart was beating, giving everything it had to offer.

In those moments, they were not acting the role of father and son, businessman and partner, Gaignun and Jr.

No, in those moment they were only just Nigredo and Rubedo.


	13. Lacrymosa

**More of the side unseen when Gaignun was going through his transformation into Yuriev. I think the signs would have been more pronounced than what they showed in the game. I think Gaignun might have been suffering more than he let on in screen time, and is it just more or did he just look tired during that time? I mean, I know the game went through some animation change but Gaignun in particular looked to have some bags under his eyes. Just my speculating on what was going on. Unlike the previous chapter, this one has been in the notebook with more to come.**

**Please review and enjoy.**

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The black words laughed at him as he tried to focus on the text. The white of the paper blurred with the writing and printed letters, jumbling together in a mess that made his head pound; more than it was already pounding before.

He had contemplated lying back down in his bed across the room, but the businessman in him shut out the idea.

"I'm fine." He had told Mary and Shelly, both concerned when he had pardoned himself from that mornings meeting. The pain had put him in the hallway, rubbing the side of his head and biting his lip to stop any sounds from breaking out of his mouth. It passed not an hour later, and by that time the meeting was already over with.

"It's nothing." He lied to Helmer; who near lunch had called to let him know that Jr. and the others had made port at Second Miltia. The com turned off with a beep and he hissed as he ran his fingers through his hair, pleading for the pulsing in his head to stop.

"_Hey, Gaignun!"_

That afternoon he was sitting at his desk, jumped out of whatever cloud he was in by his brother's mental screaming. Hazily he tried to piece together what had been said but to no avail. _"Sorry, what's your heading?"_

"_2089!"_

"_Got it!" _And with that, he set to work.

Glancing to his computer he was ready to send the message to Helmer for assistance but paused at the keys as he scanned over the unfamiliar page that was up and flashing red.

"Strange…"

**They say those that are up to no good are easily startled by loud noises.**

"What was I just doing?"


	14. Abyss

**Welcome one and all to the up and coming climax! I have to say I am very impressed with myself, more on what could have been going on through Gaignun's mind as Yuriev has control. If you are the die-hard fans I think you are then you should very well know what part of the game this is set in and what's going to happen next, or what might happen?**

**I love reviews, give me plenty and I might add a lemon sometime before the finale.**

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What's it like to have your life flash before your eyes. It's sad, to say the least, knowing full well that while you're reliving your own childhood, it means inevitable death. Yet, despite his struggles against the second mind living inside of him, each time he won the battle became harder. Each time he lost, the thought of winning back his own will became bleaker.

Even now, floating in the abysmal plain that was his own mind, he had no will of his own. He was simply a conscious, with no body; a ghost of himself with no physical being. It was all black, red, and purple before him, a perfect blend of him and his brothers, clashing together as they always had. But now, there was a different color, a rival for all three of them, the mastermind since the beginning.

_Your father is trying to take responsibility for the mistakes you children made. You should be grateful to me and stop complaining._

He felt himself gag as he was taken back to the lab, just as hell was breaking loose. He felt the gun back in his hands and was faced again, with the pale mad man.

What was it that Albedo would have said; the pale demon that sough them? Regardless of whether or not he pulled the trigger, it made no difference now. He was already lost, already a black piece played and fallen over on the chest board.

He had been met with check and could no longer move his last remaining pieces.

_Oh? You're going to raise your hand against your own creator? I'm impressed you have the nerve._

His conscious still drifted off, deeper and deeper into the abyss. He looked back and felt his lips pull as it also looked back at him. If Albedo could hear him now he was sure they might finally be able to get along. But the thought for some reason pulled at his chest. Remorse probably, for never being able to completely understand the white haired sibling.

"Shut up! Stop this monster, now! Or I'll kill you!"

He felt something stir in him, _his _mind. Jr. was there? How, no, where was he? He wanted to move, wanted to stir against what chains wrapped around him but only felt them clasp tighter.

_Are you sure? Your dear brother is inside me, you know._

He mentally hissed at the chains, the waves upon waves of power that swept over him. Possession, he was reminded as. Something that has no power or thought of its own.

"Gaignun! Is your consciousness still there?! Gaignun! Can you hear me?!"

Yes! Yes, Jr. I can hear you…Why are you here? Why are you bothering with me? Don't you see? I'm not worth it, I've exhausted my life, and I've been used for my purpose.

_You're wasting your time. His consciousness is deep inside me. Your voice won't reach him. Unlike you, this son has served me well. Although, I admit I was surprised when he killed me._

Yes, you're wasting your time Jr. I'm not worth it, I'm useless. I can't even fight back against myself anymore.

"Do you realize how much blood has been spilled for your selfish ambition?! Return Gaignun to normal!"

Yes, how much blood have I spilled? How many lives have I unconsciously taken? What shade of red is on my hands, overflowing from my wrists?

_It doesn't matter. It has all been a sacred sacrifice so that I may transcend U-DO._

And then, there will be nothing left of me. Into the depths I will go as nothing but a shell.

"What's the point?!"

Yes…What's the point…?


	15. Disobedience

**Some bickering between Albedo and Gaignun within the space of nether, before Albedo comes in as the hero of yesterday. His arrival and Gaignun's fight with Yuriev seemed a little too well timed for my liking, it made me think that something more might have happened before all hell broke loose on Yuriev.**

**This is not the final chapter, and neither will the next one be. I have at least three more works before the grand finale. My writer's consciousness will not let me finish this story unless it has equal to or more chapters than Songs of Madness.**

**Please do enjoy. If you see any mistakes let me know and I will try to fix them as quickly as a can. Review, if you will.**

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He felt something there, faint but there, within the span of U-DO. It was something that the ghost had not noticed yet, but the phantom had with it waves shivering but doing nothing at the sudden intrusion. He couldn't bring himself to care, his eyes already closed to any more outside source.

That was, until, he felt the sharp kick of a link forming in his mind. He groaned and tightened his closed eyes, wishing the pain away. Never was _he_ the one to initiate the link with him but considering the thankful lift it made on the haze, he supposed he owed it to him and allowed the link to fully connect.

"Giving up already?" He sighed at the already nagging tone. "That's so like you." Always the nagging, always the teasing, the prodding; poke, poke, poke, "Big baby"

"I distinctly remember a time when you were the baby, hiding behind me." He felt a smirk, tired and pathetic, completely drained of meaning. "Did Rubedo get tired of you again?" His tone was meant to be mean, but it came out as just a drag of breath, like a child too tired to fight off the oncoming sleep.

The was a hum, causing him to crack open his eyes as it echoed through, not only his mind, but through the emptiness of the dark abyss, tickling the waves around him, causing them to dance almost as if they were humming themselves.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He rolled his eyes.

"Now who's being immature, avoiding the problem like a child, hoping it will go away on its own." He growled at the older sibling, feeling a weak fire grow in his stomach.

"Hello pot, I'm kettle. You're black and I'm white." His eyes snapped open as the words stung him, sinking into his skin like knives.

"I…You're…Right." He apologized and glanced over himself, adrift in the dark of his own mentality which laid wide open for the waves that swallowed him whole, eating away at everything his was, and feeding from his weakness.

He had avoided the problem, even as it rang so clearly in his ears like a siren, even as the voice grew louder in his mind, whispering '_you have your order's soldier.'_ Yet he ignored it, like he did all those years ago, a child holding the gun ignoring everything he was born to do, everything he had grown listening to.

"Is it so bad?" He doubted, asking the man who listened on the other end of his bond. "Was I so bad, not to want to bother anyone with my problem?"

_Rubedo, who was at the edge of every galaxy and world? _

_Mary and Shelly, who paid dearly for trying to care? _

_Juli, who was once again, haunted by her past mistakes?_

"Looks like it's up to me to be the adult and say; yes!" He winced at the blurted confirmation of his worst fears, but felt his already grown interest inflate even more as laughter followed the statement. "Shame on you, being selfish with your problems and keeping them all to yourself," He himself, felt laughter bubble up his throat at the cruel but honest joke of his white haired brother. "Tis human nature to do so, mon l'agneau."

"Human nature is not set in stone." He argued as the chains around his mind once again coil in protest to his growing spirit.

"It is unless _we_ make it otherwise." Gaignun felt himself laugh again, at both his own ignorance and his brothers poking fun. Leave it to Albedo to make light of the end of the world.

"And just think if circumstances had been different that night, we might have become friends." He replied and felt the waves around him settling once again with his heart. Slowly did the dark return with its open embrace, asking for his warmth to share.

"I never hated you." He felt he needed to get that weight off his chest.

Suddenly he was yanked, something within his mind sharply pulled at him and forced him away from the dark; it hissing in protest as his body was snatched from its hungry grasp. The chains around him, suddenly becoming so tight, he cried as they burned into him, melting into his being before they melted right through him, fading in a bright hue of molten metal.

"Nigredo!" He hissed at how loud his name echoed in the space. "I did not come here to say goodbye, I came here to help."

"That's a first." Rubedo had rubbed off on him.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I'll just be damned if I'm going to let our 'daddy dearest' become a god."

There was a change in him, and he had once again opened his eyes to the world around him. Turning his gaze over to the waves of purple and red that curled so beautifully within themselves, crying under the strain of their own nonexistence before vanishing entirely. He felt himself, lighter than before; no longer forced in one place but now, free to move. He lifted himself in the open and felt his limbs stretch in retaliation to the welcomed freedom.

For a short time, he was the link master.

"And where do you get off; trying to die without my permission?!"

He felt the power underneath his skin cackle to life with his laughter. "What can I say? I never did like following orders."

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**Mon l'agneau, is French for 'my lamb.' Albedo has a French nickname for almost anyone who has strong relations with him, so I came up with one that he may had with Gaignun. I think it's fitting considering that Gaignun was born to be the lamb for Yuriev's slaughter.**


	16. No Rest For The Wicked

**I apologize for the wait it has taken to update this story. I have been beside getting many things in order, as well as re-editing some old works of mine, including this story. No updates of the edits have been made yet as I wish to have them all done before posting.**

**Please enjoy.**

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It was truly a gamble to keep the Foundation as prosperous as it was. It took more than him and his brother to keep the chips coming in and the cards laid down. He was just the man in the seat, a pretty face to keep the others from expecting too much, but he couldn't do it alone. Around him were plenty of ladies who promised him wealth, love, passion, and excitement.

He himself was a man who enjoyed the subtle nature of a hard working lady. Never did he take true advantage of what they offered him, as tempting as some of the offers were. No, he did not violate them, he did not grab at them, nor did he ever silence their tears with falsely promised raises. He was not like those squealing pigs that he had to make deals with.

But as much as he liked to deny it to his brother, he did have favorites. They were two flowers that flourished beautifully at his sides, every moment of a busy day. One managed the papers, while the other managed the phones. One made the coffee, while the other gave him the morning news. He enjoyed their company and so did they, asking for nothing in return save for a weekly pay which sometimes they even denied that, if the week was special. This however, did not stop him from sometimes spoiling them.

And they knew he did it too!

Mary; the sweet apple, liked her afternoons listening to the newest comedic bits on the holographs. She enjoyed the smell of vanilla cream lotions with sunflowers. She'd rather work early hours than late, having her comedy performances at the bars lasting well past one in the morning. She was always eager, always going, never stopping unless it was to make a drop off or pick something up. She was honest, almost to the point of brutality, but that was one of her greatest features, he relied on that when he doubted himself. She and Jr. were like brother and sister, always getting into trouble together, always making jokes, if there was a prank pulled on the Foundation, chances were they were behind it.

She was his left hand, tapping the table for another card.

Shelly; the little flower, like her afternoon reading the works of Robert Frost in the Foundation's garden. She enjoyed the subtle fragrance of lilies with marigold. She'd rather work the late hours of the evening that in the mornings, always having trouble when it comes to rising early. She was calm and collective, almost to a point of calculating. She was the balance to Mary, the one who reminded her sister of the time to be joking, and the time to be serious. She was a workaholic, to a point she sometimes burnt herself out, but that was one of her greatest features, he replied on that when he would get carried away, reminding himself when he saw her stumbling, that they were both only human and that the work could wait till the next day.

She was his right hand, holding the cards and planning the next move.

Jr. himself noticed the amount of time he spent with the two women, and he would grin knowingly when he had both of the ladies on his arms. "You're like a pimp." He joked, nudging him softly with his elbow. "You don't walk, you stride." He dragged every vowel with a laugh. He would earn a slap upside the head, one from each woman.

"Seriously, no wonder we have people sometimes breaking in. You've probably got them thinking that maybe there's some kind of orgy going on, and that only club members are invited."

The man rolled his eyes, shaking his head while checking paperwork. "Jr., there is not and never will be, an orgy." He corrected, knowing it was a joke but the redhead was always one to drag it on till the end of the day.

The eldest only kept grinning and poked him in the side. "Yeah, I know but you'd invite me if there was, right?"

It was his turn to joke, giving the redhead a matching devil may care smile and raised brow. "Like you would need one." He laughed, the marksman pumped his fist.

"I knew it!"

Jr. was his ace, the learning 'son' who circled the table in fascination of the game, giving him his opponents hand as he rounded his way back to his 'daddy.'

Gaignun didn't consider himself much of a gambling man, and never was one to take advantage of the game. However, when the game always seemed to deal him a straight flush of spades he was anything but shy when lying down is cards.

What could he say? He had two ladies of luck on his side, plus an ace always in the hole.


End file.
